Time to put the "UN" in Holiday Madness

Ah, the holidays.  Like those pesky tv people in the movie "Poltergeist-"...THEY'RE HERE. 

The first sign that the invasion was beginning was in early October, when I cruised through Sam's Club and inadvertently turned down an aisle that was festooned with Christmas decorations.  REALLY?  OCTOBER?  Unnerved, I forgot all about the bulk sized toilet paper and vitamins I had come for and headed straight for the liquor department in a vain attempt to unsee what I had seen. 

But nope, no amount of denial (or alcohol) could stop that runaway train, and as October melded into November, Christmas broke out all over.  Oh, sure, there were some token Halloween displays to placate John Q. Public, but it was pretty clear that retailers were just biding their time for the BIG EVENT. 

And in the days leading up to that wimpy little holiday known as Thanksgiving, as I cleaned and baked and chopped and cooked, I was inundated by television and radio ads that promised bargains galore on that holiest of days known as "Black Friday." 

But I tuned it out, pulled off yet another fun-filled Thankgiving dinner at Chez Smith, and staggered toward the couch, full of turkey and pie, where I remained until it was time to crawl into bed.

While I slept soundly, with nary a vision of the perfect gift in my overtaxed brain, shoppers raced from store to store in search of money-saving bargains.  Throughout the country, tussles ensued, people sustained injuries, and one woman took the holiday madness to a new low in a wealthy suburban Los Angeles Walmart by coming up with a unique solution to give her an edge over her fellow shoppers; she pepper-sprayed the crowd. Because, Lord knows, nothing captures the spirit of Christmas like incapacitating the competition so you can show your relatives how much you love them with the gift of cheap electronics. 

Folks, it's gotten out of hand.  I don't know who started it, but each year, the Christmas season begins earlier and earlier, with retailers vying for our attention and the almighty dollar when we're still running around in shorts and trying to figure out how summer went by so fast. 

Maybe I'm just not that great at multi-tasking, but I prefer to enjoy one holiday at a time.  I guess that's why Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday; it's the last barrier between me and all the preparation-and stress-that lies ahead between now and December 25th. 

Christmas used to be a magical time; now it just seems like a lot of work.  I've got to think that God is more than a little annoyed when he sees how this country-a country founded on Christianity, no less-has turned the celebration of Jesus' birth into a free-for-all shopping melee, complete with greed, violence and a definite lack of concern for one's fellow human being.

Sure, I've got some shopping to do, and I enjoy giving and receiving gifts just as much as the next person.  I even hit a few Cyber Monday sales, although the only thing that was injured during that particular shopping spree was my bank account.  But I'm going to take it easy this year, and make it my own personal mission to play nice. 

I'm going to practice Holiday UNMADNESS.  We're in a tie for a close parking spot?  You take it.  I could use the exercise.  You only have two items and I have 52?  Why don't you go ahead of me?  It will only set me back a couple of minutes, and it seems the right thing to do.  You want to merge into my lane?  Sure, I'll slow down and let you in (provided you have your turn signal on-don't EVEN try to cut me off at the last minute-hey, I'm still a work in progress here). 

But most of all, I'm going to smile at people-frantic, frazzled, harried people who have forgotten the reason for the season in the midst of the holiday madness.

It doesn't cost anything, I don't have to stand in line to give or receive one, and maybe-just maybe-it will brighten someone's day a little bit and they'll remember what's really important during that once special season known as Christmastime. 

Either that, or I'm going to run away from home and live on a remote island until January.  I'll keep you posted.