Criminal Minds

Best of Criminal Minds 2011

A look back at some of the the most confounding and oddest items on the police beat in 2011.

Altoids Are Probably a Better Idea A woman was arrested Sept. 1 for stealing under $500 at the Shop N Save store in the first block of Gravois Bluffs Plaza, Fenton. Police said the suspect hid two bottles of vanilla extract in her purse and paid for the rest of her groceries, but failed to pay for the vanilla. Police said that when the woman was asked why she stole the vanilla she responded "I’m an alcoholic and drink the vanilla extract so my husband won’t find out I’m drinking again." Priorities A man was issued a summons Sept. 16 for urinating in the parking lot of the Steak 'n Shakein the 600 block of Gravois Bluffs Boulevard in Fenton. Police said the intoxicated man was asked why he was doing so and responded “My friends are still …

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The Ghosts of Turkeys Past: Thanksgiving Day Disasters

Patch editors share their embarrassing holiday fails and invite you to add yours.

The Turkey That Wouldn't Go Away I was a newlywed, cooking my first Thanksgiving dinner for extended family. My mother, my sister and myself were crowded into a tiny kitchen at our University City apartment, bumping into each other and generally getting into each other's way. Bags and boxes and pans were stacked in any available inch of space. My husband's grandmother had given us a large covered roaster pan, and for seven months, it had been taking up space in the cabinet. Now, I finally got to use it. Not well, however, as I remember the turkey was rather dry. But we could always count on my mother's dressing being perfect and the sweet potatoes having just the right amount of marshmallow topping. We gave the kitchen "a lick and a …

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