How important is conversation in a relationship? Is it OK not to talk?

Sometimes you see couples sitting in restaurants not talking. That used to make me uncomfortable...not anymore. I believe the relationships that really work are ones where both partners feel like it's OK to say, well, nothing.

I get a lot of questions from people about to go on a first date, worried there will be a lull in conversation. They wonder what to say when there is an awkward silence. Well, that's the point. When you finally feel comfortable enough with your significant other that silence doesn't make you feel uncomfortable, you might have found your soul mate.

Unions that really work are ones where the couple hits a stride. They feel like they just "get" each other. No conversation is necessary. They almost know what the other person is thinking or feeling. I am not talking about ESP...what i am saying is that a natural rhythm exists between people who have been together for a while and if neither has anything to say it's OK!

I remember when i was in my 20's and I was at a restaurant with a friend. She spotted an older  couple at the table near us completely silent. She said she never wanted to be like them. At the time, I agreed. Now, I have completely changed my mind. Maybe they have nothing to say at the moment. It's better not to talk then to come up with meaningless conversation...or worse..say something you regret.

Now, if you never have anything to say to your significant other, that's a different story. But if you are usually on the same page, are able to communicate and he doesn't shut you out, then some quiet time once in a while is absolutely fine.

So, the next time you see two people in a restaurant who look like they have been together for a while and aren't saying anything, they might not be bored at all. In fact, maybe this couple has some lessons for everyone else!