Health & Fitness
My Friends Have Made the Memories of My Life
Some of my best friends I met through gardening. If you're looking for a way to meet new people or learn something, look no further than your hobby or passion.
Whether it’s gardening, knitting, running, walking, golfing or playing tennis- the activities that we choose to do in our spare time can define us, give us a sense of self-worth, benefit us physically and enrich our lives with those we meet along the way. Gardening did it for me. I have met the most remarkable people and I hold dear the memories made in the garden. In a real departure from my usual blogs, I’d like to share some personal, random thoughts with you.
What began simply enough as project I volunteered for, a class I took, a home garden that I helped beautify, a City committee I joined or one of the park gardens I manage- each project reaped great rewards because of the friends and memories I made. Simply put, our shared passion is the tie that bonds people, regardless of the hobby or endeavor. In a nutshell, most of my favorite people are those I’ve gained by happenstance, through a common bond of gardening.
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My husband and I moved into our home in 1993, the year our kids started at Mason Ridge. I immediately signed up for every volunteer position that had to do with gardening. The greenhouse, outdoor classroom and grounds beautification is where you’d find me, Kaye and Bruce. It was my good fortune that Bruce lived right across the street from me- he was “Mr. Mom” and we spent nearly every day together. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer it was my family and friends, especially Bruce that got me through. After watching my hair fall out in clumps, I couldn’t take it anymore. I told Bruce “it was time” and he knew what to do. He got the dog clippers and didn’t stop until all my hair was gone. I didn’t know how I’d react, but I started to laugh! Out came the champagne and we toasted my new hairstyle in the swimming pool. What could have been one of my worst life experiences ended up being one of my most special memories and I owe it all to Bruce.
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Years ago when I started Mason Ridge Garden Club my only intent was to gather a group of like-minded people who were interested in learning more about gardening. That simple desire for knowledge evolved one of my proudest achievements: rehabbing and maintaining the gardens at Longview Farm Park. It also introduced me to Linda- the only person, besides me, original to the project when it began 11 years ago. I know that I can count on her for absolutely anything and everything. When I was diagnosed with a second breast cancer, she spent hours and hours crocheting the most beautiful afghan for me. It was my constant companion in my recovery one of my most prized possessions. I can never thank her enough.
One of my favorite houses is a 3 story farmhouse just down the street from mine. The owner was quite a gardener, having perennial borders winding around the 3 acre property. In time, the flowerbeds became weedy and it was apparent that the home had changed hands. Lots was happening indoors, but outdoors was another story. Long story short, my hairdresser told me that a client of hers moved down the street from me, in the farmhouse that I loved. I had Angie, my hairdresser tell the homeowner that I’d love to help her in her gardens. But, time went by and the gardens kept up their weedy appearance. One night at Cardwells, I had a chance to talk to Deb, the new owner of the home. She was embarrassed that the gardens had fallen into disrepair but had no idea how to go about fixing it. I told her I would help. The first year was devoted to tree trimming, weeding and Roundup. The next year was shopping, planting, dividing and keeping the deer away. Deb and I spent countless months (and years!) laughing hysterically, sweating like pigs, solving the world’s problems, and, yes, forming a bond of friendship and love. Our goal of bringing her gardens back to its “glory days” was actually our good fortune- they brought us to each other.
Going back to school at 54 can be daunting. When I decided to get my Master Gardeners Certification at Missouri Botanical Garden, I never thought I’d become a Master Gardner and forge a bond with Mark, my classmate. He had just retired from a teaching position at Washington University. In class Mark was really smart and pretty shy. I wasn’t shy but wasn’t very smart, either. Our friendship didn’t develop until we ended up volunteering at the greenhouses in Forest Park. Mark and I clicked, and, in addition to volunteering together, we formed a friendship. One of my favorite “Mark stories” was after volunteering at Plastic Pot Recycling, the recycling program at MoBot. Mark and I were going to have lunch together after volunteering. As we were waiting for the rest of our group to show up, one of Mark’s former students came up to talk to him. I didn’t know what the former student was saying, but soon many of his students stood in line to talk to him. I just stood and listened. The last student said that Mark was the reason he was still in school. I was so impressed- I knew he was special, I just didn’t know how special. Mark truly makes my life better just by being in it.
One of my recent projects, the Tappmeyer gardens in Creve Coeur’s Millennium Park yielded another unexpected relationship. I was forwarded a letter from a physician named George who had recently moved into Creve Coeur and wanted to do some volunteering. He liked to garden, didn’t work full time and wanted to get involved in the community. I added him to my list of prospective volunteers, assuming that he was nearing retirement age and wanted to find ways to fill up his days. He arrived to our first meeting a little late, but he didn’t look near retirement age. As time went by, we began doing things together- field trips, plant shopping, garden tours and creating fun projects for the garden. Without George my blogs wouldn’t be nearly as interesting, my knowledge of Orchids not nearly as vast, and my weekends less full. Our relationship is downright sublime.
I’d be remiss and negligent if I didn’t mention at least a few other friendships made in unexpected ways, through volunteering and chance meetings while gardening. Meg: who, wanting to change her life, moved to St. Louis and found friends for life at Longview. Kathy, who never really wanted to know much about gardening, but volunteers at 3 gardens! Judy, who became a friend when I joined the Horticulture, Environment and Beautification Committee in Creve Coeur. Patty, who moved from Chicago, joined my garden club, got divorced and had a large group of women who supported and lifted her up during the bad times. Matt, who I was lucky to work every Friday with for a few years. He continues to teach me something every time I see him and I am sincerely grateful for that and his friendship. There’s “Maryland Margie” an 80 year old “Weed Warrior” from Maryland who is moving to St. Louis to reinvent herself yet again in the Tappmeyer gardens. And finally Cindy. a woman who, for over 35 years, has taught me so much- horticulturally and personally. I admire her immensely: her strength and perseverance is unequaled.
I hope my homage to gardening and the personal rewards it can reap has been thought provoking. Perhaps you’re in a rut, and want to learn something new. Maybe a change in latitude can be a change in attitude. Maybe you want to reinvent yourself. Maybe you need a new friend who doesn’t know your history. It’s all out there. Waiting. For you to be there. Be someone’s Bruce, Linda, Deb, Mark, Judy, George, Matt, Margie, Kathy or Cindy. Let them enrich your life. And, in turn, let them know how important they are to you. Life is short. Or long. It just depends how you look at it.