Sleepless in Manchester?

As a parent of a pre-teen, I am beginning to experience for myself those stories I've heard of friends' kids sleeping in until noon. Being summer, I must admit I have allowed my under-scheduled son to sleep in until he wakes up on his own. While Adam usually only sleeps in until 8:30 or 9 o'clock, when it was 10 a.m. one day before he rolled out of bed, I realized that this is only the tip of the iceberg. Those days of sleeping in until noon are coming.

Long gone are the days when both my kids were 'up-and-at-'em' by 6 a.m. Those days lasted a few years with both kids and I certainly do not miss them. Not at all. But I do have concerns about this turn-about with 9 and 10 a.m. wake-up calls. School will be here in less than 4 weeks, which means my middle school son will be waking up no later than 7 a.m. A shocking reality after establishing this new pattern.

My husband has always razzed me about my strict bedtime guidelines and nap schedules. The reality for me is that I have a major sleep disorder so I am more consciously aware of how establishing good habits now can affect them as adults. For at least 7 years, I have had a magnet posted on our refrigerator that gives sleep requirements by age. A comparable link is found here , which is courtesy of the St. Lukes's Sleep Medicine and Research facility in Chesterfield.

In their infant and toddler days, I was down-right vigilant about both my kids getting the 'right' amount of sleep. Now that they are a little older, I am a bit more flexible. But I use that term loosely, because I generally only allow my kids to stay up one-half hour later in the summer than during the school year. Perhaps it speaks to my own insomnia and sheer exhaustion by night's end, but I truly see the value in establishing and keeping consistent hours as much as possible.

Obviously, there are the exceptions to the rules and my kids have been known to still be awake at 11 p.m. if we have company, we are on vacation, or just have special plans. If it is an ordinary day, though, I am pretty strict about enforcement. About a week before school starts we will return to school-time bedtimes, with purposeful awakenings by 7:30 or 8 a.m. to help ease the transition.

Honestly, my kids have never really argued about the strictness of our bedtime rules. Kids truly do appreciate routines and clear expectations. If my kids have more than a few late nights and feel that accumulative sleep debt, they will actually ask to go to bed earlier as soon as the opportunity arises. Maybe it is from watching my own struggles with restorative sleep and appropriate energy, but my young children recognize the signs that they need more sleep--and seek to correct it on their own. I am proud that they are recognizing it. It is just one more step toward independence that we want our children to have.

Personally, I think a lot of behavioral problems with kids stem directly from sleep deprivation. Whereas most people think children who are sleepy act sleepy, often  the opposite is true. Hyperactivity (or what adults might think of as being "slap-happy tired") is a common result. St. Luke's website also states that children should not fall asleep in high chairs or on shorter car trips; both being a sign that your child could benefit from extra sleep.

Other than the benefit of a better behaved child, don't forget the other benefit(s) to sending your child to bed in a timely manner: Time for yourself to unwind, relax, and rejuvenate before you go to sleep yourself--and time with your spouse or significant other without children underfoot. A definite motivator in my book!