Home Alone St. Louis Style

It has been just over 20 years since the Home Alone movie rocketed Macaulay Culkin into stardom.  It was the cheek slap heard around the world that has been parodied ever since. While most people would agree that 8-year-old Kevin (played by Culkin) was too young to be 'home alone', it begs the question: What is the right age? Or perhaps more fittingly, is there an age specified in the Missouri statutes or in St. Louis County?

I consulted with Lieutenant Bob Arthur of Town and Country police to help answer the question. He said that there was no magical age in St. Louis for when staying home alone is legal (only Illinois and Maryland have specific state laws regulating it). From both experience as a dad of three now-grown children and as an officer who has seen the best and worst of St. Louis, his recommendation is age 12.

Let's face it, with summer quickly approaching, doesn't a little freedom from children underfoot sound enticing? But how do you know your child is ready? Lt. Arthur says that there are basic things your child should know before you leave them alone for any length of time. At the most basic level, they need to know how to dial 9-1-1 and their own street address. Having your child memorize your cell phone is a great idea, too. You may have it on a bulletin board at home but if (s)he can't get it to it in an emergency, (s)he should still know how to reach you.

Children also need to know what to do in case of an emergency. Does your child know where the water shut-off valve is located or the electric breaker box? Do you have a first aid kit where your child can find it if necessary? If they need to leave the house for any reason (like a fire), do they know which neighbors are usually home and they can count on as a 'safe' house? Do they know how to reach a neighbor by phone if they can't reach you?

Arthur stressed too, that you need to rely on your instincts. If you doubt that your child will obey the house rules (do not answer the door, do not use the stove, no friends may come over, etc) then that is a good indication that regardless of chronological age, they may not have the emotional maturity to be responsible enough yet.

Supposing you have decided that staying home alone is acceptable, now what? For us, it means signing up our 11-year-old for a "Home Alone" class. They are held all around the area--at the Des Peres Lodge, Ballwin Pointe, through Rockwood and Parkway Continuing Education, and through all the local hospitals. Don't discount the value in having someone reinforce what you have already instructed your children to do, no matter how thorough you thought you were.

Another tip is to start out in small time blocks. Initially, I left our son Adam home for 10 minutes at a time. I also never allow him to stay home alone if a) I cannot drop everything and come home immediately 2) I am more than a five-minute car ride away 3) I cannot predict how long I will be be gone (Like a doctor's appointment).

The last tip is this: Do not push the matter if your child has any hesitation at all. There are times when our son is more comfortable than others in being home alone. There is no rhyme or reason to his comfort level but I always give him the option. Oftentimes, he will choose to come with me. I want him to be in tune with his gut feeling and I respect his decision even if it would be more convenient to have him stay home. The reality is that eventually they will be ready to, and when they are, the transition will go smoothly if you go at a pace you are both comfortable with. In the meantime, just enjoy the fact that they still want to be near you. That may not last forever.