Moms Talk: Appropriate Cell Phone Age For Kids

Town and Country-Manchester Patch invites you and your circle of friends to help build a community of support families right here in Town and Country and Manchester.

Each week in Moms Talk, our Moms Council of local parents takes your questions, gives advice and shares solutions.

Moms, dads, grandparents and the diverse families who make up our community will have a new resource for questions about local neighborhood schools, the best pediatricians, 24-hour pharmacies and the thousands of other issues that arise while raising children.

Moms Talk will also be the place to drop in for a talk about the latest parenting hot topic. Do you know of local moms raising their children in the Tiger Mother's way, and is it the best way? Where can we get information on local flu shot clinics for children? How do we talk to our children about the Tucson shootings? How can we help our children's schools weather their budget cutbacks?

So grab a cup of coffee and settle in as we start the conversation today with a question about kids and cell phones:

Question:

What is the appropriate age for a child to get a cell phone?

Background Info:

This mother of two girls Mia, 8, and Peyton, 5 said her 8-year-old is asking for a cell phone. So far, mom and dad are resisting.    

Moms Council Answers/Advice:

A cell phone can be a wonderful tool, a toy, or simply a status symbol. Chances are, someone in the class has decided that this is the cool item to have. Some parent has caved! Be strong, and remember that parents are in charge. Later on, perhaps when Mia is in fifth grade, she will be involved many more activities, as will you, her parents. As the schedule fills up your time, the need for mobile communication will become obvious.

-Donna Buehne, Teacher, mother of two, Town and Country

I resisted when my daughter wanted a cell phone at age 10 for many reasons. I didn't see the need, thought the expense was unwarranted, and, quite frankly, I didn't think she was responsible enough for a phone. I lost that battle, but soon realized the benefits of being able to reach her when necessary. I became more relient on the phone than she did and found myself frustrated when she left it at home. She proved me wrong with her level of responsibility as she has never lost or damaged a phone. Several years later, I balked at the idea of texting. I thought if I needed to talk, I would just call. I gave into that idea as well and once again I was wrong because now, we talk more than ever! 

-Jeannie Timpone, mother of one, Ballwin

We just purchased a cell phone for our 13-year-old last week. We have been waiting until he needed a cell, refusing previously when he wanted one, but did not need it. This is the first time he has been away from us in a situaton where we want him to be able to reach us and for us to reach him. He purchased the phone with his own money, but we will pay his monthly bill. It is only an additional $20 on my husband's plan. He has been very responsible with it, and we are happy with our decision. We knew he was old enough to take care of it and to make healthy choices. He has also been working with great perseverance on his schoolwork, and we felt he deserved something special. He was considering purchasing a new iPod with some Christmas money, and we preferred he put the money into a phone.

-Carrie Wing, mother of two, Manchester

My short answer is no, an 8-year-old child is much too young for a cell phone.  At this age (and even a few years older) your child is never without a parent or a trusted adult that the family knows, so having a personal cell phone is pointless. I remember when my much younger siblings begged my parents for cell phones because all of their friends had one. My mom's response was perfect. "Good, then you can use theirs!" 

 -Amy Murphy, mother of two, Manchester

I think it depends on the child and other circumstances as to when to let the child get a cell phone. The child's maturity level and the way the child handles responsibility is definitely a factor. There are a few other factors that I would consider as well.   
Does the child need the phone for a safety reason, such as walking to and from school or activities? If that is the case, then I would consider getting a cell phone for her. If the child is involved in a lot of activities where Mom and Dad are not present or just have to drop her off, that might be another consideration.  
We recently decided to get rid of our landline telephone in our home, due to the fact that four out of the five people that live in here have cell phones. Our 8-year-old is the only one who does not have a cell phone, but she always has access to one to call her friends or in case of an emergency, because she is never alone.
The standard in our home is that you get a cell phone when you are 12 years old. In fact, it has been part of my two older kids' birthday presents. It has worked out well for all of us. If they are out with friends and we need to get a hold of them they are just a call or text away.   

I could not see getting our 8-year-old a cell phone even though a few of her friends have them. I just don't think the level of responsibility is there yet, or the need.

-Tim Poorman, father of three, Ballwin

Aside from the fact that cell phones are a huge responsibility and incredibly easy to lose or misplace, I have to wonder what need an 8-year-old would have to own one. An appropriate time would be when the child is old enough to be home alone regularly and have activities before and after school to keep her connected to family. I would think by the time they are 13 they may actually need them. My caveat to letting teenagers have one would be that they are responsbile for paying the monthly charges. If they have a vested interest in keeping it safe and in good shape, they are more inclined to keep track of it. Sadly, our society has gotten to the point where kids think a cell phone is a need, not just a want.

-Bonnie Krueger, mother of two, Manchester

If you have a question, you'd like answered, post it in the comments box below or e-mail it to Gabrielle.Biondo@Patch.com.

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